Preserve Your Tranquility: Part One
PURSUIT OF CALM #41

When It Comes To Other People…

One of the most annoying things we face in our day to day is annoying people. “Dealing’ with annoying people always runs the risk of ‘them’ disturbing ‘our’ tranquility and daily flow.

So, if we’re keen to preserve our inner-tranquility & avoid self-sabotaging our day by over-emoting, then we have a couple of options available to us.

Firstly we can go live in a cave, or in the middle of rice paddy in SE Asia, and just shun people all together. Or secondly, and more realistically, we can create time in our day to learn & practice strategies to resource-ourselves with the skills to better preserve our tranquility throughout the course of our day. This option obviously leaves us completely open and exposed to the potentiality of people annoying us – but how else can we train to improve ourselves and gain the tranquility we seek if we’re not practicing in the coliseum of life? 

The reality is we’re always going to be exposed to annoyance, so we might as well learn how to deal with it, rather than it (anger) dictating our life and wellbeing.

So what advice can we give ourselves to practice in the real world to better prepare for the ‘that’ annoying person or situation that will inevitably be heading in your direction today…and every other day for that matter?
1. Remind Yourself That You’re Just As Annoying.
When we interact with an annoying person, it’s helpful to remember that there are undoubtedly countless people who find you to be totally annoying. This fact is something we conveniently tend to forget when both our tranquility is confronted and our self-importance is seemingly under attack. 

I know this is the last thing we want to do, but when we become irked (*triggered) by someones shortcomings, it’s actually the perfect time to reflect (take a breath) on our own shortcomings – this is an opportunity to practice (mindfulness) becoming more tolerable & empathetic (kinder), and less of a douchebag. Three virtues that will be warmly welcomed by those around you, particularly those that love you.

The world would be a very dull place indeed if we all liked each other. Accept you won’t like some people, accept some people won’t like you – and learn to live with that by taking control of what you can control...how you respond.

 

“You could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world,
and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”

Dita Von Teese

 

[* I believe...The more sensitive (aware) we become to the things that trigger us, the more we can realise that ‘being triggered’ is the perfect reminder we need to take stock of the moment we’re in. If we can become familiar with what triggers us, we can not only identify when it’s happening, but we can start to address how best to respond during those moments of duress. Eventually ‘being triggered’ can be viewed as a tool to improve our mindfulness & presentness, rather than being a trigger to set off a cascade of emotional-reactions & destructive behaviours] 

2. Don’t Drink Your Own Poison
When we get frustrated and angry at annoying people it’s very helpful to realise that our annoyance will almost invariable be more detrimental to us that whatever it is that the annoying person is doing. In short, we make things worse when we get annoyed…not just for ourselves, but everyone around us. A quote often incorrectly attributed to Buddha, but none the less pertinent here is “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Another deep philosophical mantra worth reminding ourselves when we’re feeling ‘escalated’ is “let that sh!t go”.

To help you define if something is really that worthy of being totally annoyed about is to ask yourself “does this matter?”
If you knew you were going to drop dead later that day, or next week or next month – would you, if it was in your control, allow this (anger) to waste and poison whatever amount of time you have left?

Remember, you are going to die…but when?

Luke

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Part II: Compose Yourself In Advance
  

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I don’t have the answers, but I’ve got plenty of experience on both sides of the health and fitness spectrum, which affords me a plethora of strategies, ideas, support mechanisms, techniques that you may find incredibly useful.

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Calm & Vitality
Luke